completing the rhyme

That's right! Baby Callaway is coming soon! This is my excuse for not blogging very much in the past month- way too hard to keep a secret!  But now that I'm ending my first trimester, the flood gates have opened.  So here's the story. January 22: Adam runs to walgreens to pick up 3 boxes of pregnancy tests after a mild melt down by yours truly- crying about feeling tired, emotional, stomach ache, etc.  Adam does dishes in the kitchen while I do the test in the bathroom; totally expecting the same negative result I had the month before when I thought I was pregnant. I took the test, laid it on the counter and washed my hands, I looked down at the test and noticed a blue line I had never seen before. My heart started beating in my ears. I cracked the bathroom door and called for Adam. Adam and I stood in the bathroom in total shock and then googled how common a false positive pregnancy test is... Not common.  So after chugging water and watching a movie, I tried test number two. Same result! Then Sunday morning I tried with another test... just to make sure. And once again a bright blue line confirmed that I was not lazy and emotional- I was just pregnant! 

The rest of my first trimester included lots of shock that we were actually pregnant, excitement to start our family, fear of miscarrying, trips to the midwife (who we l.o.v.e.), deeper awareness that God is the author of life and death, thankfulness for this little life, no hot yoga, grieving our newlywed lifestyle coming to a quicker close than we anticipated, wandering through the baby section at target together, feeling totally unqualified and not ready to be parents, celebrating with friends who are also pregnant, sadness for a few friends struggling with infertility, hearing the heartbeat, morning (all-day) sickness that has made me all too familiar with the inside of my toilet, figuring out finances, gratitude for God's gracious provision over the past year, daily reminders I am not in control, naps, daydreaming of what our baby will be like, hiding motion-sickness wristbands under my long sleeve shirts from my students, tears that seem to come out of nowhere, saltine crackers, thinking about names, loneliness from days spent exhausted in bed, morning protein shakes brought to me in bed by my sweet husband, using the "fake belly" at gap maternity while trying on maternity jeans, joy in finding out Hapa actually has a variety of baked sushi rolls (which made my day on Tuesday :), reading, and lots of praying and dreaming of what God has in store for our family and for our little one.