Wednesday, July 13, 2011
9 months of marriage & 28 weeks of pregnancy
Even with all the excitement, joy and anticipation of the Bean, I still have moments where I feel sad that I'm missing out on the "normal newlywed" first year of marriage experience- But since when has my life ever been normal? Adam is sweet and tells me I am still his new bride, but some days it feels like I was a new bride for the first 14 weeks we were married, and a hormonal pregnant lady for the last 28 weeks. But in clearer moments where my perspective sticks out more than my belly, I realize that life is way bigger and about way more than the big M-E feeling like a young bride. If that was all I was living for then I am going to miss out on so many things that God is doing all around me that are much more awe inspiring and huge than me, myself and I - even if I am twenty five pounds heavier.
We watched our wedding ceremony video after dinner and something in the message stuck out to me. Steve said we had "talked about marriage, read books on marriage, and dreamed about marriage...but that's not marriage." Now I think I understand more of what he meant. I remember during our ceremony offering up our marriage to the Lord to do exactly what He wanted with us. But with that came a pretty specific picture of what I thought that might look like- living simply, investing in Denver for at least 5 or 10 more years, loving each other without reservation through disagreements- which would probably lead to some time well spent in a counselors office, maybe being called to move to a 3rd world country or called out of our jobs into something else, adventures in the mountains with Adam, fun trips before kids, eventually raising a family, etc...
Marriage has been so much fuller and richer than I ever could have planned out in my head. Whenever some one asks me how married life is, I always have an overwhelming suspicion that God has been incredibly gracious to us. We have our fair share of adventures and fun memories, down-time cleaning the house, folding laundry, or taking out trash (thank you Adam), doctor's appointments, time with friends, change, more change, weekends spent at home resting, crossing things off to-do lists (which rarely sounds like the most fun option to me), fun dinner dates or mornings making awesome breakfasts that we brag to each other about the rest of the day, disagreements, flowers, dishes, goofy dance moves in the kitchen, walks, i love you's, decisions, bowls of icecream, tears and honest conversations etc... I am so thankful the Lord has brought Adam and I together to experience life more fully and to know His love, presence and goodness in our lives in a more intimate way. What a gift!