Friday, April 15, 2011

moments of vanity and maternity jeans

vanity |ˈvanətē|noun ( pl. -ties)excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements it flattered his vanity to think I was in love with him the personal vanities and ambitions of politicians. See notes at egotism, pride .• [as adj. denoting a person or company that publishes works at the author's expense vanity press.the quality of being worthless or futile the vanity of human wishes.dressing table.• bathroom unit consisting of a washbasin typically set into a counter with a cabinet beneath.

For the purpose of the post, I mostly relate to definition numero uno. I was actually pretty unaware of my vanity, until last week when two conversations totally led to one vain conclusion...
Conversation #1- In the bathroom- I got on the scale and was crying to adam processing through gaining 3 pounds since I've gotten pregnant. "I feel anxious to gain weight cause it will take forever to loose it.""But..you're pregnant"
Conversation #2 - Adam had an intervention with me about maternity jeans. "Why don't you want to wear your maternity jeans?""Cause I don't want to be showing yet.""Why?""Because I want to look like one of those super fit pregnant women who don't show until they are further along" (which I realize is totally unrealistic- I'm in healthy shape but I have never nor probably will ever describe myself as super fit)"But your other jeans are uncomfortable""I know, but I don't want to have to wear maternity jeans yet?""But why would you wear jeans that are uncomfortable when you have jeans that were made to wear when you are pregnant?""Because I am vain." ...and cue conviction....
I remember as a kid stuffing pillows under my shirt to make-believe I was pregnant. Funny how now when it's really happening, I get super body-conscious and focused on me.me.me.me.me and my appearance... and miss the joy in it! Somehow pregnancy becomes about how I look, or want to look and not about this incredible life that God is forming inside of me. Thankfully, I have people like Adam in my life who bring me back to reality and remind me of what's really important.  We had a midwfie appointment on Wednesday and got to hear the heartbeat again and the baby had moved up a ton! It's now sitting just below my belly button over on the right side.  Baby actually l.o.v.e.s the right side and has been there all week. When I look down at my stomach, the right side sticks out more than the left- which actually looks pretty funny. Everyday, the reality of having a baby becomes more and more real and I am totally floored by God's ability to create life and form people in his perfect timing.   
Dear Sweet Baby, bring on the nausea, weight gain, side pain, migraines, whatever...you are totally worth it! 

9 comments:

  1. i've embraced the maternity jeans since george was born...never stopped wearing them for like a year. and it's awesome! now i have an excuse to wear them again. holler! i totally understand the feeling of giving your body up for those chickens (babies). i wanna see a baby belly picture!

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  2. amy-
    just want to validate that what you are feeling is normal! i, too, waited as long as possible to wear my maternity jeans. but once i did, there was no turning back, they are SO comfy! i found it really hard watching my body change uncontrollably, and people always have their opinions to share... you are small, you look big, are you carrying twins etc etc etc. i mean really, people should know better.
    but it is SO amazing to think of what is taking place within you. you will be a beautiful momma. it is the most amazing experience and so worth it all.
    side note:
    i had bad migraines too, but fear not, they were much improved in the third trimester.
    be encouraged!
    erinn haley.

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  3. Amy - I'm so excited for you! At 27, I've only recently felt like I wanted to have babies...mainly because I hate work. Hopefully I won't get pregnant before finding my dream job and therefore get in to a huge predicament :-P

    Congratulations though - your blog and pics are soo cute! : )

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  4. You are too funny. If it makes you feel any better I gained 12 pounds in the first trimester!! Everything I read said, "by now you may have gained 3-5lbs" It all evened out in the end but it was really hard at first! I am so so happy for you guys! I know you know this but that little baby will be totally worth it in the end!

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  5. you crack me up girl. I'm SO all about the mat jeans so just put em on!! I was seriously just discussing with a mommy friend today how great that big elastic band is. I would say invest in a good pair...I wore them almost every day (we ARE Texas girls who love our jeans you know.), and also wore them several months after A was born! SO glad youre getting a belly!! :) hehe LOVE!!!!

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  6. Oh I hear ya! I have found pregnancy to be totally humbling so far... but in a really really good way. It's so amazing to get to start loving someone before you even know them & to be so in love that you don't mind sacrficing your own body and vanity:) Do you know if you're having a boy or girl?

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  7. This is so great Amy! I can totally relate about vanity (ugh) and I'm not even pregnant. Thanks for being so real. Congratulations on getting married and being a new mommy!! Also - for the record... You are beautiful. I've always thought so. :)

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  8. AMES! I just awarded you on my blog! Go check it out and do it! - I LOVE YOU and miss you like crazy. and that belly too! :)

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  9. Hey...great post, so honest and real. Love it :)

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