Saturday, January 15, 2011
Adam brought me these flowers to celebrate our 3 month anniversary! I'm sure to the long-time marrieds this feels very small but to us it's another big milestone! Adam asked me what I had learned or newly realized since being married so I thought I would share a few with you.
1. Adam's eyes are not bigger than his stomach.- I assumed when I got married I could just double the amount I used to cook, but really, I have to at least triple or quadruple it. However, I think Adam secretly likes when he doesn't get enough to eat because he uses it as his excuse to eat half a container of ice cream.
2. Be a cleaner, not a fighter- No matter what time of day, if Adam and I have conflict or are bothering each other, we both get in super cleaning mode. I get scrub-happy with dishes and clean every countertop while Adam takes out all the trash, recycling and compost. Then I decide I need to clean out all our junk mail and to-do piles and Adam switches all the laundry. Once we run out of things to clean we parlay on the couch and work out our disagreement. The nice thing is it gives us time to think, which involves me stepping off my "I'm right!" pedestal, and coming to terms with my own brokenness that helped cause the conflict. It also gives us a really clean house!
3. Watch your words...or lack there of- Being married gives you a powerful place in your spouse's life. Adam and I see each other in our most vulnerable moments; moments that no one else can speak into the same way that we can to each other. I love Adam dearly but I am not immune from those moments where it feels easier to disengage, criticize, or just not be intentional to encourage Adam. I am thankful for Christ's conviction in those moments of my vow to love Adam "without reservation." I'm reminded of my deep neediness for Christ's love, knowing, and encouragement to fill me so that I am able to shut the computer and hear about Adam's day, encourage Him as he talks about His ideas and not criticize, tell Him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him instead of being silent. My prayer is that I would continually be dependent on God to love Adam in the way that God only knows he needs- that my words would be "sweet to the soul" Prov. 16:24